A Follow-Up: "Society Raped My Personality"

Here is a conversation that started just after I posted my first rant. Coincidence? No. Enjoy.

Severus: "and anyone who isn't part of that group hates him."
Severus: I am not part of the group, but I love him
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: lol
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: well then you are part of the minority. Minority's are unimportant.
Severus: his music is cool, I couldn't give a fuck what he says
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: then you are in my group
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: lol
Severus: I don't give a shit if I am minority or majority
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: i like his music, and I think it's cool as long as you realize that he's talking shit
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: his lyrics mean nada
Severus: a matter of fact, Osama could bombe the world and I wouldn't give a fuck
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: lmao
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: So are you saying Osama has the right idea, or are you just impartial when it comes to genocide?
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: honest question... I'm not gonna freak at you
Severus: *is listening to stairway to heaven and thinking about his girlfriend*
Severus: I am impartial
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: being Impartial is no where to stand.
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: you can't just sit around scratching your balls as the world goes to hell
Severus: if it happens to someone else i don't care, if it happens to me, i don't care, i am dead, what can i do?
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: either you sit around on your ass griping about it
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: or you sit around on your ass cheering it on
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: now THAT'S involvement
Severus: I'd rather sit on my ass and think about my girlfriend
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: I think you'd rather sit on your girlfriend, think about HER ass.
Severus: lol
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: now you have it.
Severus: I am not perverted
Severus: not to say that's bad
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: i wasn't aware that being sexually attracted was a perversion. Have you been talking to Osama?
Severus: no
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: then explain, cryptic one.
Severus: It's just the way i am
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: atleast you aren't like society. I applaud you.
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: I hate society because it has raped my personality.
Severus: I am guy that doesn't think about sex much
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: ...
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: ok.
Severus: and doesn't care if anyone else does or not
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: riiiight... *backs away slowly*
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: I think I stepped into that damn twilight zone again.
Severus: I will let everyone do what they want
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: are you an anarchist?
Severus: and sometimes if I get bored I will join them
Severus: no
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: do you know what anarchy is?
Severus: no
Severus: you know what i am though
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: did you know you can be something even if you don't know what it is?
Severus: I am an Autistic person who is empathic and wonders if he is part of the human gene pool
Severus: I also hold hate for no man or woman
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: my basement has become flooded with that damn pool. The pump stopped working and it has become stagnant. What a smell. *plugs nose*
Severus: heheheeh!
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: what I wouldn't give to hear the audio version of that laugh.
Severus: it would be something along the lines of a high pitched: "IiiiiHiihihihihihi!"
Severus: but insanely
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: oh, but insane.
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: okay, cuz I was thinking that it sounded way too sane.
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: definitely.
Severus: I am probably classified as homocidically insane
Severus: without the killing people part
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: is homocidically a word?
Severus: I think so
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: no, it isn't.
Severus: If it isn't it is now
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: well sure.
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: but i believe you would be called homocidally insane.
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: i could be wrong, but I'm not.
Severus: or are you 0.o
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: please, spare me the animecons
Severus: lol
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: it makes me so sad.
Severus: I use it to get my point across
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: me too... i tend to use this one a lot: >_<
Severus: I never use the ^^
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: you mean ^_^
Severus: OMG! I just did!
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: you sucker.
Severus: so did you!
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: you are now homosexual.
Severus: *points*
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: dammit.
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: okay, you aren't homosexual.
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: oh, and niether am I.
Severus: *Watches Shinzo*
A.N.D.R.E.W.: Artificial Networked Device Responsible for Exploration and Warfare: I've lost him.
THIS IS THE POINT WHERE I START IGNORING POOR SEVERUS
Severus: who?
Severus: lost who?
Severus: *is lost*
Severus: ahhhhhhh... now i get it
Severus: *is going now*
Severus: *would say goodbye but cannot be bothered typing three letters...*
*** severus@fakemale.com signed off at Thu Aug 22 02:06:58 2002

And there you have it. My first opinion. Ain't it grand?

^_^

...

O_o

I'm outta here.
-Andrew

The Reason Why Free Speech and the Internet are Like Bunnies on Viagra

You'll find that very rarely do the topics have much to do with the content. You'll find no bunnies, nor will you find Viagra. You will find crap loads of free speech, unfortunately.

Welcome to the opening of the Unfortunate Lizard. I am Andrew Carlson, a highschool graduate that works at Staples to fund his alcohol and beef jerky habit. I have a mother, a father, a step mother, a step father, a sister, four step sisters, and a step brother. I don't plan on going back to school until I suddenly fall face down in to a BIG SHIT LOAD OF CASH. I am single because females, right now, bug the hell out of me and every single one that asks me out is either stupid, retarded, or not perfect. But, enough about my personal life. I will now dance around naked, summoning the rain. You will all join me, if you do not wish to die. Thank you, that is all.

Wait, no it's not.

I would like to take this opportunity to talk about someone who is very dear to all our hearts. And when I say dear, I mean that if we don't hate him, we follow him with some kind of fanatic zeal second only to a cult of sadomasachism. Who am I talking about? Marilyn Manson? Nope. Fred Durst? Ha. Not likely. Ja Rule? Puh-lease. Expect him in another rant later on, though.

That's right ladies and gentleman, you guessed it (after three guesses, you idiots). Eminem. Marshall Mathers. Slim Shady. We all love him, don't we?

Oh right, I already dealt with that whole love thing.

Eminem to the public eye is a homophobic (apparently... I've never seen any evidence) womanizer with alcohol problems and a tendency to go a little over the top. He busted onto the charts with his partnership with Dr. Dre on "Forgot About Dre". Great song. Really. Uh-huh. Then, he was like a violent hormone-driven teenager with an alcohol problem and a need for destruction. The pitch of his voice was the selling point for me on that fact. So, we all remember Eminem from way back then. What has changed?

Other than a couple CD's, millions of dollars and hundreds of concerts, very little.

Eminem is still the drug-abusing, foul-mouthed, celebrity dissing male-role model we all know and love. Or do we? Know him, that is.

I've seen him in several interviews. The guy wears glasses. He's smart (although his ghetto-accent tends to cover that up), and surprisingly artistic. He's not like the Eminem or Slim Shady we see plastered all over every media.

He's Marshall Mathers.

The guy is out there to stir things up (much like I am... ahem) for no other reason than to show people just how gullible they are. People will believe anything they see on TV, and Mr. Mathers has proven this point over and over. Maybe a little too well, though. Mothers freak. Guys are talking shit about beating up their "hoes" because they don't put out. Homosexuals walk around with protest signs, telling people to boycott Mr. Mathers. He wasn't allowed into Canada to do a concert! This man has stirred things up, all right. I just hope he knows what he's doing.

Mr. Mathers tells everyone that if they don't like what he's doing, don't listen to him. Although it makes sense, it's a little easier said than done. No offence to anyone out there (okay fine, be offended... I like it) but you are all boneheads. That's right, I'm generalizing because I don't need to be specific. This is the free world, so majorities rule. And yes, I'm quite aware of the contradiction... sad, isn't it? Right now, the majority is enraptured with the Eminem craze. Girls love him (why, I don't know... they certainly don't see it the way I do), guys want to be like him, and anyone who isn't part of that group hates him.

Do I have the answer to this insanity, this media pandemonium? Of course I do. I have a few. But you won't like them.

1) We revoke the law of free speech and put a cork in Mr. Mathers. This, of course, will enrage the masses who love him, and cause either mass suicide or mass hysteria. Either way is likely to thin out the number of idiots in this world.

2) We make everyone love Eminem. Brainwashing for everyone (as if that hasn't happened already, you stupid sods).

3) WE CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND REALIZE THAT THE MAN IS PLAYING GAMES WITH US. We're only letting him win by bitching and moaning about all this. It's nothing. Until the man comes to my house, gets my mother pregant, ties her up, throws her in the trunk of his car and drives it off a bridge and then kills all the homosexuals in my city, I am not going to give a flying crap about what he has to say. He has SAID HIMSELF that his lyrics have ZERO VALUE. None. Nada. While I'm sure that isn't totally true-- songs like "The Way I Am" and "Cleaning Out My Closet" come to mind-- it has more merit than we give credit for.

So, what do we do? Door number one, number two, or number three? What am I, and idiot? I'm not going to leave that up to you! I'll leave it to the smart people who can see through the game that all of you have become so bent out of shape over.

NEXT ISSUE: My Friends, aka the people who don't piss me off.

I'm outtie, for now.
-Andrew